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Feb 27th, 2017

Help The Gravy & Bunch Of Arse #9

The stuff that's floated our boats this week. Or otherwise...

Help The Gravy & Bunch Of Arse.... From The Oscars to Rickie Fowler, soggy driving ranges to Laurel & Hardy. The stuff that's made us smile... or otherwise this week...


HELP THE GRAVY: The as-yet unnamed person who switched the envelopes at the Oscars and turned the whole, hideous, self-serving luvvie-fest into a complete shambles.

HELPING THE Actors,-Is-There-Anything-They-Don't-Know?-It's-Only-Films-For-Chrissakes-It's-Not-Like-You've-Created-A-New-Pitch-&-Putt-Course-Or-Anything-Useful GRAVY!


BUNCH OF ARSE: PGA Tour for voting the John Deere Classic as Tournament Of The Year

BUNCH OF No-Offence-To-The-John-Deere-Which-We-Really-Enjoy-Watching-But-The-Phoenix-Open-Had-Over-200,000-People-For-One-Day-It's-Just-The-Dog's-Whatchamecallits ARSE!



HELP THE GRAVY: Darren Phillips at Pure Sports Marketing & Ross at Premier Licensing for giving us a TravisMathew outfit to giveaway for the prize draw for GolfPunk's Reader Survey

HELPING THE Finding-Out-Who-You-Lovely-People-Actually-Are-And-What-Floats-Your-GolfPunk-Boat GRAVY!



BUNCH OF ARSE: Rory playing golf with Trump

BUNCH OF Is-the-Lure-Of-Power-Really-That-Intoxicating?-And-How-Come-We-Haven't-Had-A-Call-From-The-White-House-Yet?-Not-That-We-Care-It-Would-Just-Be-Nice-To-Be-Asked-And-Just-In-Case-You're-Wondering-If-We-Had-The-Choice-We'd-Probably-Like-To-Be-Picked-Up-By-Helicopter-From-The-Airport-And-Join-You-For-18-At-West-Palm-Beach-But-It's-Not-As-If-We're-Bothered ARSE!



HELP THE GRAVY: Rickie Fowler for winning the Honda Classic

HELPING THE Not-Bad-For-A-Fella-That-Some-Halfwits-Were-Calling-'Overrated-Just-A-Year-Ago GRAVY!



BUNCH OF ARSE: Soggy driving ranges

BUNCH OF OK-Maybe-The-Range-Isn't-Quite-As-Submerged-As-This-But-It's-Still-Shut-Because-The-Last-Golf-Ball-You-Hit-On-The-Range-Is-Still-Making-it's-Way-To-Australia-Through-The-Sog ARSE!


HELP THE GRAVY: Amy Yang winning the Honday LPGA Thailand

HELPING THE South-Koreans-Record-Yet-Another-LPGA-Win-Despite-Lexi's-Charge-Good-Work-Amy-That's-Her-3rd-LPGA-Tour-Win-At-The-Age-Of-27 GRAVY!


BUNCH OF ARSE: Butter that break dances all over your knife when you're trying to make a sandwich

BUNCH OF This-Is-The-Last-Time-I-Attempt-To-Make-A-Bloody-Snack-With-A-Normal-Knife-Look-At-These-Units-Above-I-Reckon-It's-Time-We-Showed-The-Butter-Who's-Boss ARSE!



HELP THE GRAVY Andy Hiseman for giving us a SkyCaddie Linx GT Game Tracking Edition for GolfPunk's Reader Survey Prize Draw 




BUNCH OF ARSE: The FA for continually making football a lottery by refusing to implement video technology

BUNCH OF Just-Get-On-With-It-You-Hopeless-Gin-Soaked-Geriatrics-You-Can't-Have-Cup-Finals-Won-And-Lost-On-Dodgy-Split-Second-Decisions-That-Rob-A-Club-Of-Its-First-Trophy-In-41-Years ARSE!



HELP THE GRAVY: Tyrrell Hatton for staunching it up at the Honda

HELPING THE Mixing-It-At-The-Top-Table-And-Totally-Looking-The-Part-And,-Hang-On-A-Minute,-You're-Now-17th-In-The-World-Rankings! GRAVY!



BUNCH OF ARSE: Curries you get from supermarkets

BUNCH OF It's-Not-Real-Curry-It's-Just-Gravy-With-A-Child's-Portion-Of-Chicken-Masquerading-As-The-Real-Thing-And-It-Just-Reinforces-The-Unfortunate-Fact-That-You're-Not-Having-A-Proper-Curry-And-It-Should-Be-Outlawed ARSE!



HELP THE GRAVY: Stan & Ollie (and James Finlayson) for being The Greatest and inspiring our header background for Help The Gravy!

HELPING THE 100%-Rule-That-If-Your-Potential-Girlfriend/Boyfriend-Doesn't-Find-Them-Funny-They-Are-Sacked GRAVY!


BUNCH OF ARSE: Rain drops for continually falling on golfers' heads in South Africa reducing the Johannesburg Open to 54 holes

BUNCH OF Can't-We-Just-Put-A-Big-Piece-Of-Golf-Tarpaulin-Up?-No-That's-Probably-Just-Stupid-But-This-Keeps-Happening ARSE!


HELP THE GRAVY: Darren Fichardt winning the Joberg Open with a birdie on the last

HELPING THE Nicely-Done-Darren-PLUS-Britain's-Stuart-Manley-And-Paul-Waring-Both-Qualified-For-The-Open-By-Finishing-Joint-Second-See-You-At-Birkdale GRAVY!



BUNCH OF ARSE: Tooth abscesses



HELP THE GRAVY: Bees that learn how to play golf

HELPING THE Flying-Insect-With-Flawless-Taste GRAVY!


BUNCH OF ARSE: Getting a haircut

BUNCH OF I-Don't-Really-Like-Having-To-Make-Small-Talk-While-Someone-Interferes-With-My-Barnet-Surely-Getting-A-Haircut-Should-Be-Like-Doing-The-Laundry-You-Only-Have-To-Do-It-Once-And-Then-That's-It-You-Don't-Have-To-Do-It-Again-And...Hang-On... ARSE!


HELP THE GRAVY: Jhonattan Vegas for giving us all a last day kick at the Honda

HELP THE Never-Mind-The-Bogey-At-The-Last-THIS-Is-Going-IN! GRAVY


BUNCH OF ARSE: Oh, yes, and Leicester City's board of directors. They get the Bunchiest Arse Of The Year So Far Award

BUNCH OF ARSE. Simple as


TAGS: Golf Bedlam, Help The Gravy, Bunch Of Arse, Rickie Fowler, Players, 2017