Nov 9th, 2015
A Quick Livener #4
Words: Tim Southwell Photography: Getty Images
1) Russell Knox's wife Andrea
For totally staunching it up and making it possible for hubbie Russell to actually be in the WGC event at all. Helping The Sorting-Out-Last-Minute-Invite-During-Last-Week's-PGA-Tour-Event-And-Getting-Russ-On-The-Plane-On-Time-&-Then-Caddying-In-The-First-Round-As-His-Regular-Caddie-Couldn't-Do-The-Same-Gravy!
2) Ronnie the GolfPug
For being the new GolfPunk dog:
Helping The Rescue-Society-&-Being-Our-New-Columnist-Coming-Soon Gravy!
3) The European Tour
For finally figuring out that most of our really good players are going to be too busy playing on the USPGA Tour to be able to commit to playing 13 events on the European Tour. Plus, removing the 4 WGC events and majors from that list, so players have to commit to proper European Tour events in order to be eligible for Ryder Cup qualification.
Helping The Lazy-USA-Based-Europeans-Can't-Even-Be-Bothered-To-Turn-Up-To-The-BMW Gravy!
4) That brilliant kangaroo for traumatising golfers in Australia:
Helping The Get-Off-My-Bloody-Golf-Course-If-You're-Not-Gone-By-This-Arvo-Blimey-All-This-Running-Has-Made-Me-As-Dry-As-ADead-Dingo's-Donger-Anyway-Ya-Getting-Heaps?-Yeah-Me-Too-Now-Rack-Off Gravy!
5) Greg Norman for being a total gent when the Brigadier went to to the Bahamas (yes, the bloody Bahamas) to interview him.
Helping The Greg-Wasn't-Quite-Expecting-A-Chap-From-The-Raj-To-Ask-A-Load-Of-Mental-Random-Questions-But-Enjoyed-It-Anyway Gravy!
1) Dodgy necks for making Scott Doak retire from European Tour card qualification.
Bunch Of Sixth-Time-This-Year-He's-Had-To-Retire-From-A-Tournament-Because-Of-A-Pinched-Nerve-In-His-Neck-Injury Arse!
2) Interns for getting all the good jobs
Bunch Of So-You're-Off-To-Jamaica-For-7-Nights-Are-Ya-What-Are-We-Chopped-Liver? Arse!
3) Going to the cashpoint and walking off without your money:
Bunch Of Must-Be-Working-Too-Hard-Or-Was-It-The-Brigadier's-Home-Made-Sherry? Arse!
4) Wet legs on the golf course.
Bunch Of I-Really-Should-Have-Put-The-Waterproofs-On-Before-I-Went-Out Arse!
5) Christmas in October
Bunch Of I-Like-Christmas-Actually-But-Not-Before-I've-Had-Chance-To-Say-Tara-To-Summer-What-Summer? Arse!