UKIP councillor calls for ban on golf

UKIP's Gisella Allen – looks like a very nice lady....

A Scottish UKIP candidate has come up with some revolutionary proposals, which include banning golf and bringing back the guillotine!

Now listen here, love... (Don't do it! – Ed)...

84–year old Gisella Allen is clearly not a fan of the great game, but she seems rather out of touch with her own constituents, who we understand are rather partial to the game.

And what are her grounds for banning golf? Is it to get everyone taking up archery again to fend off the foreign hoards? Well no, she actually thinks that golf is dangerous, and bad for the environment. She clearly knows something that we don’t.

As for the guillotine, she wants that bought back as a more humane alternative to hanging. This woman clearly is all heart!

If she has her way she may well end up guillotining golfers who defy her ban, and dare to continue playing this hazardous and destructive game.

Meanwhile, she is apparently very pro horses, on the grounds that children should work with and ride horses. So that's alright, then! 

All I can say is pish-posh to you, woman... and now I'm going for a lie down... 

Related:

Vandalism at Cambridgeshire golf course