Nov 9th, 2016
Golf Voodoo at Royal Dornach
Well, we need as much help as we can get...
Words: John Dean Photography: Getty Images Illustration: Birth Golf Death
Golfers at Royal Dornach are being offered 'spiritual advice' by a Chaplain to Her Majesty the Queen.
Rev Susan Brown has written 'thought provoking reflections' for each of the 18 Championship Course holes at Royal Dornoch Golf Club in the Highlands to help inspire players and “exercise the body, mind and spirit”.
The Rev walked the course at different times of the day to capture the unique feel of the stunning landscape to create the so-called “Holy Round” as part of celebrations to mark 400 years of golf in the area.
Royal Dornoch Golf Club general manager Neil Hampton described the “inspiring and uplifting” reflections in the Champion Course guidebook as a “tremendous asset”.
The entry for the first hole, which uses the first words of the Bible, states “In the beginning… draw breath and enjoy the clean score sheet and all the possibilities that lie ahead. Choose now to take one step at a time and enjoy what that step holds.”
GolfPunk's Scriptures Say: "Have a quick livener, close your eyes and twat it with the driver as hard as you can."
The entry for the sixth hole says: “Be warned! A bunker with a magnetic draw awaits you. Choose your club carefully and think of the choices you have made in life. You have to live with the consequences!!”
GolfPunk's Scriptures: "Bollocks, I always end up in that sodding bunker. I should hit an 8-iron to be safe but the lads are watching so I'll hit a career wedge instead and...... sod it...."
The Rev is actually a past LPGA Thistle Brooch and Grant Cup club champion, so she knows what she’s talking about. And this is what she had to say about the 12th hole.
“A path crosses the fairway. Reminisce and share with your partner, how the path of your life crossed with a significant other in your life. Think of how wonderful is the gift of love.”
GolfPunk's Scriptures: "As he's just about to hit his drive, ask him how his money-grabbing ex-wife is these days..."
Mrs Brown, minister of 13th century Dornoch Cathedral, said the “thoughts”, which are part advice on how to best tackle the links course, were designed to help quieten the minds of golfers and give them a sense of perspective on life.
Illustration by BirthGolfDeath
“Royal Dornoch is a stunning course and golf, for many people, is a spiritual experience,” said the Chapel Royal in Scotland member. “As the local minister I wondered how the Church could participate positively in the 400 year anniversary celebrations so I came up with the idea of creating a Holy Round.”
“I went out at different times of the day and walked the course to get a sense of the uniqueness of each hole and then from what I saw, created a simple ‘thought’ for all 18 holes – plus another for the obligatory 19th which is the club house.”
“The thoughts are not designed to provide people with the perfect excuse to go golfing instead of to worship, but offer an opportunity to help the game be a more complete experience that exercises body, mind and spirit.”
GolfPunk's Scriptures: What kind of golfer would Jesus have been? Probably a 6-7 handicapper. Bit loose off the tee but magic around the greens.