Jun 14th, 2018
Paulina Gretzky melts the internet again
DJ's better half – A Life in the day...
Words: Kurt Hoop Photography: Getty Images
A Day In The Life Of Paulina Gretzky, DJ's better half.
Plus below: Paulina melts the internet in US Open capering...
8am: With Dusty off to work on the golf links, Paulina starts the day with a walk in the park where she enjoys the simple pleasures of insulting middle-aged people she's never met before, and jumping out at strangers from behind bushes shouting 'Mashed Potato'.
9.30am: Despite a cunning disguise, Paulina has to help the authorities with their enquiries regarding several upset middle-aged people and a disgruntled park groundsman.
10.45am: After being bailed out by her posse for a nominal fee at the local cop shop, and being instructed not to go to the park again, Paulina and her crew re-up and go back to the park looking for the narks who ratted her out.
11.30am: Paulina gets bored and, courtesy of another clever change of disguise, ditches her crew and heads to the golf course...
12.38pm: Paulina continues to get her handicap down at her local course, Torrey Pines. Unbeknownst to Dusty, Paulina has been playing off +6 for the last eight years, and regularly hustles local dignitaries out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. However, she figures Dusty has enough on his plate trying to win that elusive first major, without landing the crushing blow that his missus could thrash the bejeezus out of him. Which is nothing, if not kind.
4.35pm: Having shot a course record 62 at Torrey Pines in the morning, Paulina wonders what to do next...
5pm: Paulina hasn't quite made her mind up yet, but she's almost certain that she will remove her sunglasses at some point.
7pm: Yay. Dusty is home from the golf course and it's time to pull on the lederhosen and get wasted. One thing leads to another and, well...
8.33am: The next morning: They certainly don't remember buying any koala bears. Oh, well... another day, another dollar...
Paulina's on her way to Shinnecock!!
Traffic? Pah! I'll just hijack Trump's chopper!!
That was fun, can we do it again? Can we?? Huh???
Before I head to Shinnecock I think I'll just blow up the interweb...
This ought to do it...
The award-winning GolfPunk Magazine is back!! read FREE here!!