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Nov 30th, 2015

A Quick Livener #5

Help The Gravy & Bunch Of Arse: What's made us happy and upset us this week

A Quick Livener #5

Everything from scaling tall buildings in Dubai to Marmite on toast, It's Help The Gravy & Bunch Of Arse: What's made us go 'yippee!!' and, also, what made us go 'fiddlededee' this week... 


Helping The Gravy this week...


1) Rod Pampling for downing a load of rum the night before his last round because he thought he was 'out of the tournament' and then shooting a course record 61 at the Australian Open. But mostly... for having the nickname 'Pampers'

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The One-Minute-You're-Shooting-The-Lights-Out-In-A-Rum-Haze-The-Next-Minute-Everyone's-Saying-'Get-Them-In-Pampers!' Gravy!


2) Hoverboards and, specifically, Catalin Alexandru Duru for breaking the Guinness World Record for longest hover board flight!

Helping The Can-We-Have-Hover-Boards-For-Christmas?-Can-We?-Can-We? Gravy


2) Three Men In A Boat and, specifically, Jerome K Jerome for writing the best book ever and introducing GP to the phrase 'Help The Gravy' (aka character in the book called Harris needs a spoon because 'It helps the gravy')

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The This-Was-Golf-Punk-Without-The-Golf-Way-Back-In-1889 Gravy!


4) Winter golf practice tips from James Verrall for stopping us wasting range time.

Helping The Pretend-You're-Playing-Your-Actual-Course-Hole-By-Hole Gravy!



5) Charl Schwartzl for staunching it up at the South African Open and also his wife Rosalind – just because, all right?

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The None-Of-The-Caddies-I've-Ever-Had-Look-Like-That Gravy!


6) Immodium/Marmite on toast/Lucozade, the great triumvirate of getting 'on the mend'.

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The It's-Just-About-All-We-Could-Stomach Gravy!


7) Matt Jones for being just like us and frittering away a load of shots in the last round paired with Jordan Spieth, but hanging on in the end.

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The Commando-Golf-Yes-I-Think-I'm-Familiar-With-That Gravy!


8) Callaway Golf for taking Dan up the Berj Kalifa, trying their top secret new product, and generally giving us a corking time in Dubai + Greg Norman & Sandals for taking the Brigadier off to the Bahamas to play golf + Jamaica for inviting our intrepid interns on a luxury golfing safari.

A Quick Livener #5

Helping The Alright-For-Some Gravy!




Bunch of arse

1) Everyone else going to the Bahamas, Jamaica and Dubai while the rest of us do the proper work.

A Quick Livener #5

Bunch Of You-Didn't-Even-Bring-Us-Any-Presents-Back Arse!


2) Cyber Monday/Black Friday/Purple Wednesday etc for just being days of the week, and pretending to be something special and generally getting right on our nerves.

A Quick Livener #5

Bunch Of Trumped-Up-Greed-Mongering-You-Had-Me-At-Monday Arse!


3) Matt Jones for not having his better looking other half Melissa with him when he won The Australian Open.

(Click on Melissa for more 'information'.)

A Quick Livener #5

Bunch Of We-Thought-She-Was-Going-To-Run-On-The-Green-And-Give-Hubby-A-Smackeroony Arse! 


4) Confusing wine offers for making the Brigadier walk around in cirlces at the supermarket for two hours

A Quick Livener #5

Bunch Of Confounded-Trumpery-Just-Give-Me-The-Bally-Bottle-You-Pasty-Faced-Shop-Urchin Arse!


5) Mosquitos with bad attitudes in Jamaica (Stop it now - Ed)

A Quick Livener #5Bunch Of If-I-Can-Feel-You-On-My-Leg-You've-Already-Left Arse!


6) These bloody signs all over the place...

A Quick Livener #5

Bunch Of Everyone-Else-Has-Been-Playing-Golf-In-The-Sun-&-Heat-Somewhere-&-We-Have-To-Put-Up-With-This-Arse Arse!



TAGS: Rod Pampling, Charl Schwartzl Australian Open 2016, Immodium, Rum, Matt Jones